I always had a relationship with God. I was raised a practicing catholic in a a very good home with 5 siblings. I did novena's, went to the eucharist of congress with catholics from all over, sang in the choir and even lectured at mass. As I grew older I experimented with drugs and soon partying was more important than my family values, my morals, self respect and most importantly, My Lord Jesus Christ. That relationship too had diminsihed on and off throughout 31 years of being with my love…..drugs and alcohol. I prayed, of course, the usual drug prayer Jesus help me, I want to stop but it was always on my terms and half heartedly because what I really wanted was more drugs. My last run I was using for 5 months and in about the last two months i was watching my 9 year old son isolate and withdraw. I found myself being more sincere in my prayer and asking God to end the torture, that I was done destroying the life he had given me and I wanted to find some peace in my life and enjoy my child. This came to me the day of August 30, 2013. I was about to use and something just said to me, what are you doing with your life? I was already high so I know the voice inside was not me asking that question. My demons were too strong to allow me to voice anything. It was my moment of sanity..my God was going to fight the evil and destruction I was allowing in my life. I then threw everything away I used with, even the drugs i had just brought and went outside and scrolled through my phone. It stopped at a person I knew from AA who had some sobriety. I called him immediately told him what I was doing and within a half hour, I was on my way to a CRR to be admitted for my addiction. I surrendered, I prayed, I cried and my friend told me that this would be the worst day I would ever have again if I CHOSE to allow God to do his will through me. I never looked back. I humbled myself, I admitted I needed and wanted help and most of all that I needed my God in my life again. I was ready to do the footwork and turn all my fears over to Him. Since that day, I have gratitude every day and with 6 months clean and sober so far, I have not had a bad day. I worship God again at CLC on Sundays, I look for opportunities to serve him and become more like him in how I live my life. I stop a few times out of my day to acknowledge my gratitude, love and thank Him for his infinate mercy and grace. HE is why I sit here today and tell my story. He is the way the truth and the light. Without Him I could not accomplish all I have. I don't look back anymore and I don't worry about tomorrow because He has me no matter what. I accept the Lord Jesus Christ in my life and His will for me. The weight of my cross has been lifted and I do not feel the burden I use to. My eyes are open to see again, my arms open to be there for others, my heart is light and free of the pain and guilt. My strength to continue is on solid foundation. I am alive again.